


grab some milk?

by horsetrackhiggs



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Wrong Number AU, big group of nerdy queers, bruce is trans, clint is acroace, darcy is nonbinary, dumb gay nerds, natasha is otherkin, preserum!Steve, so yEAH nerds, thor is nonbinary in this, ye, yeah idk what else to say
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-02-13 05:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2138679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horsetrackhiggs/pseuds/horsetrackhiggs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>to: +12627482129<br/>from: bucky</p><p>3:05AM<br/>ayyy bruce pick up sum milk on the way home will ya? thx bro xoxo <3333</p><p>to: +12629259438<br/>from: steve</p><p>3:07AM<br/>Hello!! I believe you have the wrong number!</p><p>to: +12627482129<br/>from: bucky</p><p>3:07AM<br/>o shit srry</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. gets high friend salad at 3 am nerd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a quick waring there is meantioned drug use and ptsd !!!

to: +12627482129  
from: bucky

3:05AM  
ayyy bruce pick up sum milk on the way home will ya? thx bro xoxo <3333

to: +12629259438  
from: steve

3:07AM  
Hello!! I believe you have the wrong number!

to: +12627482129  
from: bucky

3:07AM  
o shit srry

to: +12629259438  
from: steve

3:09AM  
No need to be! Have a great night!

to: +12627482129  
from: bucky  
  
3:10AM  
still. i feel rly bad bout wakin u up at 3

to: +12629259438  
from: steve

3:15AM  
No, really! It's all cool. One of my house mates is still up and high as heck. Can't leave them up alone.

to: +12627482129  
from: bucky  
  
3:16AM  
o have a gud nite then

to: +12629259413  
from: steve  
  
3:17AM  
You too!

to: +12629259438  
from: steve  
  
8:30AM  
Did your friend get you the milk?

to: +12627482129  
from: bucky  
  
8:40AM  
haha funny. and no he didnt. he and my other roomie were out last night and he was 2 drunk 2 get my milk

to: +12629259438  
from: steve

8:43AM  
Well I'm real sorry about that pal. But whatever did you need milk for at 3 in the morning??

to: +12627482129  
from: bucky  
  
9:00AM  
well u c i donut sleep very well and i woke up w/ a nite terror and decided to make my buds cookies to show them how much i luv them but we had no milk

9:00AM  
*dont 

to: 3AM Milk Person  
from: steve

9:04AM  
Oh wow!!! That's actually a very sweet thing to do! Thor (my high roommate) was crying about wanting a salad, so I drove about an hour to get them their favorite, cried even more!

to: gets high friend salad at 3am nerd  
from: bucky  
  
9:05AM  
ive nvr been high b4. clint and bruce (my roomates) once got me trip w/ them but i had a bad trip so no more drug experiments with them haha

 to: 3AM Milk Person  
from: steve

9:10AM  
Golly!!!! I'm very sorry that you had such an awful time.

to: gets high friend salad at 3am nerd  
from: bucky  
  
9:11AM  
nah its kool. i get bad flash backs from the war b4 i got discharged. nothing new.

to: 3AM Milk Person  
from: steve  
  
9:20AM  
That's no good!! You deserve to feel safe at all times. Of course, I have no idea what you are going through. My friend and another roommate of mine, Sam, also has PTSD and (1/5)  
  
9:20AM  
here's a few things he does to keep himself calm during an episode!! 1) He listens to this band called 'Vampire Weekend', they have a very chill vibe and calms him right down. 2) He fills an old jar with water and glitter and when he gets upset he (2/5)

9:21AM  
shakes it. 3) He will stress dance-- I know it sounds childish, but he turns up Fall Out Boy and Nightmare And The Cat and just dances his heart away. 4) (3/5)

9:21AM  
He makes smoothies and tries all different flavors depending on the mood he finds himself in. When he's sad he makes blueberry ones and when he's angry he makes bannana (4/5)

9:22AM  
mango. I really hope that helps you in some way!! I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. (5/5)

to: gets high friend salad at 3 am nerd  
from: bucky  
  
9:30AM  
wow. thx. tell ur friend that im srry he has to deal w/ it 2. its not fun.

to: 3AM Milk Guy  
from: steve  
  
9:34AM  
Can do!! I have to go to my classes now, Nat's up. Have a great day!

to: actual sunhine  
from: bucky  
  
9:34AM  
jesus how many ppl do u live w/ evn?

9:35AM  
u 2.

 

to: brooce  
from: bucky  
  
9:45AM  
i thikn i may have a tiny crush on a stranger who buys their high friend salads at 3 am

to: buck-a-roo  
from: bruce

9:50AM  
oh boy

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyy yo i just love wrong number aus and so this happened  
> review if u want and tell me what u think yo????
> 
> im transphilipwilson on tumblr if u wanna chat :o


	2. my little gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mentions of drugs again friends!!

to: my little gay  
from: clint  
  
2:00AM  
bro  
  
2:00AM  
broooooooooo

2:00AM  
bruh pls

2:00AM  
bae  
  
2:01AM  
wtf bro

to: aroace arrow ace  
from: bucky  
  
2:10AM  
>:(

to: my little gay  
from: clint  
  
2:11AM  
tELL Me ABOUT HIgh SALaD GUY

2:11AM  
do u think they will get me salad when im high??????  
  
to: aroace arrow ace  
from: bucky

2:13AM  
probs they are actual sunshine

to: my little gay  
from: clint

2:14AM  
marry that kid

 

to: actual sunshine  
from: bucky  
  
11:30AM  
so u nvr answered my q

to: 3AM Milk Guy  
from: steve  
  
11:32AM  
Oh! I'm sorry pal, rushig to get them to bed last night. I live with four other people, sometimes five. Nat, Thor, Sam, and the house owner, (1/2)

11:32AM  
Tony. Sometimes our friend Darcy stays with us, but aer has been out for sometime. I miss aer bunches!! (2/2)

to: actual sunshine  
from bucky  
  
11:35AM  
jesus. i cant barely stand my two roomies

11:35AM  
nah i luv them  
  
11:35AM  
but wow. still impressive. what are they like????

to: 3AM Milk Guy  
from: steve  
  
11:40AM  
Okay, so you know about Thor, they enjoy getting high and studying plants. Huge sweetheart though!!!! They have this lovely hair and can cook extrememly good!! (1/7)  
  
11:40AM  
!!!!! Sam was in the war, but has come home and is here to stay (I'm very glad because I want him to be safe more than anything!!!), and he's back at school for studying childr (2/7)  
  
11:40AM  
en's theraphy! He's going to be so great with kids and help tons!!!! Natasha was is in communications, voi is stunning at what voi does, and voi is an AMAZ (3/7)  
  
11:41AM  
ING dancer!!!!! Tony is a childish nerd who has a huge heart and is planning on going into Rehabilitation Engineering and Assistive Technology!!! He is really goi (4/7)  
  
11:41AM  
ng to make a difference and I am so proud of him!!!!!!!!! Darcy aer works at the Medical Research and Technology Center for NASA!!! Aer is a darling who can eat 20 tacos in five (5/7)  
  
11:41AM  
minutes! Wow, my friends are all great!!! They are going to make such a difference in the world and I'm so proud to be friends with them!!! Haha I am pretty lame compar (6/7)  
  
11:42AM  
ed to them. I'm just going to school to be an art teacher. (7/7)  
  
to: actual sunshine  
from: bucky  
  
11:45AM  
wow  
  
11:45AM  
they sound amazing  
  
to: 3AM Milk Guy  
from: steve  
  
11:46AM  
They are!!!! What about your friends??  
  
to: actual sunshine  
from: steve  
  
11:50AM  
well bruce has a lot on his plate. he's a total science guy. he's getting his doctor degree and studies reflexology, (1/5)  
  
11:50AM  
somnology, phonology, neuropathology, neurology,  coniology, and audiology. weird shit ik. he started studying lot (2/5)  
  
11:51AM  
s of hearing stuff when clint (my other roommate) went about 80% deaf in both ears. and started studying shit ton of neuro (3/5)  
  
11:51AM  
crap when i came back from the war and got my prostetic arm. clint runs a summer camp for A L L kids (there is nothing that will ma (4/5)  
  
11:51AM   
ke him not teach you, unless ur a dick to the disabled kids or kids of lgbt and stuff) and tecahes them archery. works at a coffee when no camp (5/5)  
  
to: 3AM Milk Guy  
from: steve  
  
12:00PM  
Wow, your friends sound great!!!!

to: actual sunshine  
from: bucky  
  
12:03PM  
hah yeah. way cooler than me

to: 3AM Milk Guy  
from: steve  
  
12:04PM  
What do you do? If I can ask.  
  
to: actual sunshine  
from: bucky  
  
12:05PM  
lol. i train service dogs.

12:05PM  
and art teacher? :)

to: 3AM Milk Guy  
from: steve  
  
12:07PM  
Hey!! That's a very important job!!! Don't sell yourself short!!!!!  
  
12:08PM  
And yes. An art teacher.  
  
to: actual sunshine  
from: bucky  
  
12:10PM  
o cute :)  
  
  
  
to: Starky Sparks  
from: steve  
  
12:14PM  
The stranger who needs milk at 3AM just called me cute I think???  
  
12:14PM  
What do I do????  
  
to: grandpa rogers  
from: tony  
  
12:15PM  
get a life rogers  
  
12:16PM  
idk go ask sam  
  
12:16PM  
he's a lil gay too??

 

to: actual sunshine  
from: bucky  
  
12:30PM  
yeah nice talking 2 u 2day. i gtg now for some wierd group meetin thing. bye  
  
to: 3AM Milk Guy  
from: steve

12:32PM  
Have a good afternoon!!  
  
  
to: Captain Sweetheart  
from: steve  
  
12:40PM  
Saaaaam!!!!  
  
to: cpt dork  
from: sam  
  
12:43PM  
what  
  
12:43PM  
im in class steven  
  
12:43PM  
did thor try to marry a plant again  
  
to: Captain Sweetheart  
from: steve  
  
12:45PM  
Goodness!!!! I'm real sorry, I'll talk to you about it when you get home!! It's kind of a crush thing??? Oh boy, it's real weird.  
  
to: cpt dork  
from: sam  
  
12:50PM  
okiedokie   
  
12:50PM  
stop doing the thing also

to: Captain Sweetheart  
from: steve

12:52PM  
What!!! Ever!!! Do!!!! You!!! Mean!!!!!!! Sam!!!!!! Wilson!!!!!?????!!!!!!!?????  
  
to: cpt dork  
from: sam  
  
12:55PM  
i hate u rn  
  
to: Captain Sweetheart  
from: steve  
  
12:56PM  
<3

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> clint the "aroace" arrow ace B))))
> 
> woopwoop!!! im rly enjoying writing this and i hope you all enjoy too!!!!!
> 
> transphilipwilson on tumblr yo


	3. dick

to: dick  
from: bruce  
  
3:38PM  
do you understand what we are doing for the project?

to: angry cutie  
from: tony  
  
3:50PM  
rellllaaaaaaxxxxxxxx madam  
  
3:53PM  
i'll have my part done dont worry your little head

 

to: buck-a-roo  
from: bruce  
  
4:05PM  
please come home soon. i need to get drunk tonight

to: brooce  
from: bucky  
  
4:06PM  
sure thing bud  
  
4:06PM  
be home in 5??

 

to: aroace arrow ace  
from: bucky  
  
4:08PM  
code blue  
  
to: my little gay  
from: clint  
  
4:09PM  
well shit  
  
  


to: actual sunshine  
from: bucky  
  
10:30PM  
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy ;;;))

to: 3AM Milk Guy  
from: steve  
  
10:32PM  
Hello hello!!!!  
  
to: actual sunhine  
from: bucky  
  
10:35PM  
heeeyyyy iv eegotta tell U sumthin  
  
10:35PM  
hi

10:36PM  
lol idk wha i ws goni 2 tell u////

to: 3AM Milk Guy  
from: steve  
  
10:40PM  
Uh, 3AM Milk Guy? Are you alright? 

10:50PM  
??????????????????

to: actual sunshine  
from: bucky  
  
10:51PM  
bUCKY  
  
to: 3AM Milk Guy  
from: steve  
  
10:53PM  
Excuse me?  
  
10:58PM  
mmmy NAMe  
  
10:59PM  
thats wHAT i wss gonna tell u

11:00PM  
itsss buckyyyyy

to: Egghead Buck  
from: steve  
  
11:05PM  
Alright Buck. I'm Steve.  
  
to: stevie-pie   
from: bucky  
  
11:07PM  
steeeeeevvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeee

11:07PM  
i liek that nam e  
  
11:08PM  
steeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeE 

11:08PM  
its sUitss u ;))  
  
to: Egghead Buck  
from: steve  
  
11:09PM  
Thank you, Buck.  
  
11:10PM  
I really think you should get some rest.  
  
to: stevie-pie  
from: bucky  
  
11:11PM  
ooo mKE a wissshhhhhhh steveeeeeeeee!

to: Egghead Buck  
from: steve

11:11PM  
My wish is for you to get to bed.  
  
to: stevie-pie  
from: bucky  
  
11:15PM  
fiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneee :((((((((((  
  
11:16PM  
buuuuuuuut  
  
11:17PM  
only 4 U xxxxxxxx ;)))))  
  
to: Egghead Buck  
from: steve  
  
11:20PM  
Night, pal.  
  
  
to: guy jesus would probably blow  
from: darcy  
  
11:27PM  
Say goodnite to ur bf yet??  
  
to: taco monster  
from: steve  
  
11:28PM  
Yes.  
  
11:29PM  
Buck is not my boyfriend.  
  
to: guy jesus would probably blow  
from: darcy  
  
11:31PM  
Lol. Yea rite.  
  
11:32PM  
Now come pick me up frm the airport u noodlehead. :D  
  
to: taco monster  
from: steve  
  
11:33PM  
Be there in 10.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one was so short, having a bad night!
> 
> code blue means "someone made bruce really dysphoric/his dysphoria is really bad"
> 
> hope you enjoyed  
> review and whatever
> 
> im still transphilipwilson on tumblr


	4. plant master

to: plant monster  
from: tony  
  
5:00AM  
i fucked up thor  
  
  
to: my really short friend  
from: thor  
  
5:17AM  
well yes.  
  
5:18AM  
he obviously was uncomfrotable when you called him 'princess'.  
  
5:18AM  
you should tell him you are sorry.  
  
5:19AM  
because an inside source told me that he drank until he passed out last night.  
  
5:19AM  
because of your gendered 'nicknames'.  
  
  
to: plant montser  
from: tony  
  
6:00AM  
wow did i fuck up  
  
  
  
to: stevie-pie  
from: bucky  
  
11:13AM  
uh. who is this? did i have sex with you last night?   
  
  
to: Egghead Buck  
from: steve  
  
11:15AM  
This is Steve, Buck.  
  
11:15AM  
We didn't have sex.  
  
11:15AM  
You texted me a few nights ago asking your friend to get milk at 3AM.  
  
to: stevie-pie  
from: bucky  
  
11:16AM  
oh. hi steve.  
  
11:17AM  
now you must think im one o those sex addicts  
  
11:17AM  
which i am NOT  
  
  
to: Egghead Buck  
from: steve  
  
11:20AM  
Bucky, it's fine. You should get some rest, you dark a lot last night from what I can tell.  
  
  
to: stevie-pie  
from: bucky  
  
11:22AM  
oh i plan on it  
  
11:22AM  
i only woke up bc clint woke up me saying he was going to work  
  
11:22AM  
night! x  
  
  
to: Egghead Buck  
from: steve  
  
11:25AM  
Night, bud.  
  
  
  
to: angry cutie  
from: tony  
  
4:35PM  
okay. here goes  
  
4:37PM  
im sorry. i really m. i know you get pushedover the edge really easily and i know you're really not okay with being called ""girl"" things, and i'm sorry. i'm not trying to be a dick, re (1/3)  
  
4:38PM  
ally. im dumb and i wasnt thinking and it was out of line and god i feel really awful im not some transphobic bastard i just forgot that not everyone is okay with bein call tho (2/3)  
  
4:38PM  
se things and please dnt hate me im so sorry i know im rambling but im so sorry im sorry okay bruce im really sorry (3/3)  
  
5:30PM  
bruce???  
  
5:35PM  
shit you hate me  
  
5:40PM  
??????  
  
  
to: not a dick  
from: bruce  
  
5:43PM  
tony, i was in class, calm down  
  
5:44PM  
i will admit, you did hurt me y being insenstive  
  
5:44PM  
but i am willing to forgive you  
  
5:44PM  
i dont hate you at all  
  
  
to: angry cutie  
from: tony  
  
5:45PM  
thank fucking god  
  
5:46PM  
im going to start believing in jesus bc this is a miracle  
  
5:46PM  
bless the lord  
  
  
to: not a dick  
from: bruce  
  
5:47PM  
i think you are going a bit overboard with this  
  
5:47PM  
but whatever  
  
5:48PM  
i have another class. bye  
  
  
to: angry cutie  
from: tony  
  
5:50PM  
bye :D  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhh i know this chapter is really short but i just wrote it real quick to keep and anxiety attack at bay and golly im sory but i hoped you enjoyed
> 
> transphilipwilson on tumblr


	5. buck-a-roo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'holy shit isaac ur upd--'  
> yes. i am. B)

to: buck-a-roo  
from: bruce  
  
5:00PM  
maybe he isn't so bad.  
  
5:00PM  
he's been really nice and even been correcting others when they use the wrong pronouns  
  
5:01PM  
and he's really smart too  
  
5:01PM  
like, i really enjoy working with him  
  
5:03PM  
he's cute as well  
  
  
to: brooce  
from: bucky  
  
5:05PM  
oooooooooooooooooooooooooo ;))))  
  
5:05PM  
sounds like SOMEONE has a little crush  
  
5:06PM  
wait until i tell clint ;)  
  
  
to: buck-a-roo  
from: bruce  
  
5:08PM  
whatever. laugh it up you too.  
  
5:09PM  
at least i know my crush in person  
  
to: brooce  
from: bucky  
  
5:10PM  
low fucking blow banner  
  
  


to: my little gay  
from: clint  
  
5:12PM  
i justed looked at brucie's phone  
  
5:12PM  
he fucking gave u sunburn w/ that one  
  
5:12PM  
hahahahahHAAHAHA  
  
  
to: aroace arrow ace  
from: bucky  
  
5:16PM  
D:  
  
5:16PM  
fuck u guys  
  
  
to: stevie-pie  
from: bucky  
  
5:20PM  
steeeeeeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeee  
  
5:21PM  
my friends are being mean to me :((((  
  
  
to: Egghead Buck  
from: steve  
  
5:30PM  
I'm sorry Buck. :(  
  
5:31PM  
That's not very nice of them.  
  
5:32PM  
Do you mind if I ask what happened?  
  
  
to: stevie-pie  
from: bucky  
  
5:37PM  
well bruce was talking about his crush on some kid in his class who he didnt like at first and all, andi was like, hahahah (1/3)  
  
5:37PM  
aha bruce has a crussssshhhh ;))))) wait until i tell clint bc we like 2 give him shit about stuff and THEN he said 'haha luagh it u (2/3)  
  
5:37PM  
p at least i kno my crush irl' and clint was like 'lmao he got u' (3/3)  
  
  
to: Egghead Buck  
from: steve  
  
5:41PM  
Holy shit. He /did/ get you.  
  
  
to: stevie-pie  
from: bucky  
  
5:42PM  
nOT HELPING STEVE  
  
  
to: Egghead Buck  
from: steve  
  
5:44PM  
Sorry sorry.  
  
5:45PM  
That's /really/ funny though.  
  
  
to: stevie-pie  
from: bucky  
  
5:46PM  
gasp  
  
5:47PM  
well fuck u 2  
  
  
to: Egghead Buck  
from steve  
  
5:50PM  
<3  
  
  
to: taco monster  
from: steve

6:03PM  
So....there is a slight chance that Bucky has a crush on me....  
  
to: guy jesus would probably blow  
from: darcy  
  
6:03PM  
I CALLED IT  
  
6:03PM  
I TOLD YOU SO :DDDDDDDDDDDD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyy lmao, sorry this is short, im been super busy and i just wanted 2 get something out for u guys!!!!!
> 
> comments and all are rad B))
> 
> im montparnsnazzy on tumblr, come say hi B))))))))))


	6. future brother in law

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> L MA FUCKING O IM ACTUALLY UPDTAING THIS IM SO SORRY FORGIVE M E

to: future brother in law  
from: darcy

4:20PM  
AYYYYY BLAZZZEEE ITTTTTT

  
to: +2627859873  
from:bucky  
  
4:20PM  
AY 420 BLAZE FUCKER

4:21PM  
wait who r u :oo???

 

to: future brother in law  
from: darcy  
  
4:21PM  
Im Steve's bff Darcy :DDDDDD

4:22PM  
Ooohhhh, has he not told u abt me yet????  
  
4:22PM  
That ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cnnt believe this!!!!!

 

to: steve's friend  
from: bucky  
  
4:30PM  
uh   
  
4:30PM  
no he's told me about u b4  
  
  


to: future brother in law  
from: darcy  
  
4:32PM  
DAMN RIGHT HE HAS!!!!!!! thank god i wuld hve kicked his cute ass  
  
4:33PM  
Hve u seen his ass yet??

 

to: steve's friend  
from: bucky  
  
4:35PM  
why r u texting me tho...?  
  
4:36PM  
and no i havnt????????

 

to: future brother in law  
from: darcy  
  
4:38PM  
Well i wanna no the guy Steve's gonna marry!! DUH??!?!?  
  
4:39PM  
[image attached]  
  
  
to: an angel from above  
from: bucky  
  
4:40PM  
thank u

4:42PM  
and tell steve i say 'thank u for having a beautiful ass

 

to: Egghead Buck  
from: steve

  
4:50PM  
BUCK IF MY FREIND DARCY SENDS YOU ANYTHING INGORE AER PLEASE

4:50PM  
BUCKY PLEASE

4:51PM  
I'M BEGGING YOU

4:52PM  
B U C K Y

 

to: stevie-pie  
from: bucky  
  
4:55PM  
;)))))))))))))))

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ay yo sorry this took so fucking long??? lmao yeah this is a really shitty chapter and all, but im so tired and i actually forgot about this fic for awhile so fight me???? ye
> 
> comment or whatever man
> 
> im patrickstumped @ tumblr pls love me


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